Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Homesick

Judee Sill - The Lamb Ran Away With The Crown MP3

I really love the line in that Kings of Convenience song that reads, "Homesick, because I no longer know where home is."

That's pretty much how I feel. Today in Austin, it's seventy degrees, beautiful, and the magic hour is slowly setting in. Two days back home and my first instinct is to drive down to Airport blvd., pay my sixty dollars and hop on the bus to Mexico. I'm sick of worrying about the album, and of worrying about the fact that worrying about the album causes me to feel selfish and inconsiderate: in a world full of so many atrocities, is the viability of one's art really a valid concern? Is it something worth lamenting over?

Mexico. Why did Judee Sill go to Mexico? Many people think Judee Sill went to Mexico to die, but maybe she just got sick of everything. It seems to me that she saw things very clearly, a fact which resulted in a strange mixture of bitterness and spirituality. I would have liked to have met her, to have known whether or not she was afraid of death, and still I would like to understand the way in which she defined suffering.

Sometimes, everything round about seems pointless and vapid, and I suppose that's when you really turn to vices, the most artificial comforts of all. It's as though you can publicly operate in a world of artifice, eating it up, wearing it as you invented it, but still you must silently concede to the knowledge that under your feet runs a current of truth, fate, eventuality. An acceptance of the fact that nature is so big that it could swallow you whole at any time. Once, I visited a forest in Canada and night began to set in. As the last golden bits faded to black I became aware of how truly terrifying it would be to be lost in the dark wilderness comprised of indeterminate noises, wedged between the two huge mountains looming before me- how lonely it would be to be forced to accept a greater truth without the benifit of any company. In the face of the bigness of life, we are powerless.

So, why did Judee Sill commit suicide? Maybe it was an accident, I suppose there is no way of knowing. Perhaps she just desired escape-not because she wanted to die but because it had become difficult to be alive.

30 Comments:

Blogger the mtv reality said...

ramesh, i also love that kings of convenience song. all that double-layered vocal business isn't revolutionary but damn if they didn't perfect it.

7:08 AM  
Blogger Jó éjszakát, gyerekek said...

If it's any comfort regarding the album, I have never been so excited and had such confidence in an album. When I read the Pitchfork interview, I was stunned that you hadn't liked the Your Biggest Fan EP so much after making it. I think "Trouble" has been the most internally explosive, motivating and intensifying song I've heard for a very long time. It hits me like nothing else. Part of me wants to offer encouragement but part of me wants to keep my thoughts to myself - if this is what it takes to get those sounds in me ears, then who am I to interfere? But that would just be selfish, wouldn't it...

home is relative. if you travel enough and confuse yourself enough while sprouting roots with people in every place you touch, the whole world ends up your home. It just takes a long time to get from one room to the other. Every time I go home, I'm ready to go elsewhere after a day. Maybe restlessness passes with age, and we just have to survive until it does.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

The viability of one's art is absolutely worth lamenting over. It's your contribution to the world, cheesy but true as that may be. It's you putting yourself out there. It's as selfish as any other thought or worry that doesn't involve trying to rid the world of its atrocities - and maybe even less so, as music in a greater sense can indeed be responding to or coping with atrocity, in whatever shape or form it may be. (Not that I don't need this kind of reminder too, it's just a lot easier to be objective and see clearly when it's in relation to someone else, of course.)

Anyway, I really just wanted to leave a quick note that said congrats again on the Fleche D'Or show - I could not believe how crazy it was - if you were half as thrilled and endeared by Paris' welcome to you as I was, well, good! I think it really shows how far your music's come... and how far it'll continue to go, too. I've been to a couple other indie rock shows in Paris since I've been here (couple months) and I've never seen anything like that.

Thanks for the great set and for saying hi to all of us - I wish I'd have stayed and hung out with you all, but I hope you had a great rest of your night (and that you peut-etre enjoyed Le Pulp la nuit prochaine! :) .

I posted a couple pictures and some commentary about the show on my blog if you care to have a look; it's the latest post. In any case, can't wait for more music and to catch you in NY or DC in the summer/fall!

Cheers, Victoria

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Kevin said...

I would like to attest that restlessness does subside with age. Luckily a quick jaunt to Mexico, Europe or even West Texas can subdue the need to leave Austin, even if it's just for a bit. Though I've only been here a short time, I've found comfort in Austin's sometimes too slow environment. As for feeling guilty because of an artistic struggle during chaotic time, feel blessed. I am a social worker trying to work on my music and wish I had the ability to be more of a musician and less conscious of these troubled times. While I don't know too much about your band (though I like what I've heard), I've come to find that I look forward to your blog entries after a neighbor suggest we meet. At any rate, thanks for the entertainment, on all levels.

11:37 PM  
Blogger luluhibou said...

just a hello.
i met you a little while ago at fixed in brooklyn. i'm dave's girlfriend. i told you we wouldn't be sticking around for brunch the next day, but maybe someone would catch you emailing him, and tell him about it. you don't have to remember. i have this odd memory. anyway, when i heard your cd for the first time, it was in dave's friend's car and it was magic. so i did some exploring and wound up here, reading you, talking about "home," a song we like to listen to when we drive, on days when the weather is just right.

we'll be seeing you in austin.
pleasure reading.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I'm sure you've already found out that your album leaked this weekend. I know leaks are far from surprising, but for some reason, this one caught me off guard; without a second thought, I immediately downloaded and listened to it. I wish I had waited until the May release. I didn't have time to renew and rebuild my anticipation and hearing your self-titled LP for the first time on my record player instead of my powerbook would've been more of an experience and of significance to me in a Voxtrot fan geek kind of way. So yeah, that is my confession to you..

All that said, it's an amazing album, and I hope you're as satisfied with it as I am. : ] Also, you are releasing Voxtrot on vinyl, right? Right?? Have an awesome tour! Can't wait 'til you guys get to Phillaaay.

Liz

Oh, and for me, the vastness of nature and life is comforting, even the darkness of it. It reminds me of the beauty of existence, resets my perspective, and eases my pain and worries.

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your songs. I randomly came across your band after Napster listed you as a recommendation based on my music tastes. I hope you will be visiting Pennsylvania in the near future.

8:36 PM  
Anonymous JALAL said...

HELLO FROM FRANCE I'VE JUST DISCOVER VOXTROT (SORRY FOR BEING A LITTLE BIT LATE) & I LIKE IT VERY MUCH... I have listened to "raised by wolves" this morning and I find it beatiful.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Kyle said...

I think the key is to remember that what you do brings joy to so many people and, ultimately, brings some kind of fulfillment to you and the rest of the band. That sense you get after you finish a new song -- while the audience can never experience that as specifically as you, they can certain experience their own joy in hearing it.

6:18 PM  
Anonymous mixa said...

I forgot what this Kingo'Con song's called but it goes something like "...Love is no big truth. Driven by our genes, we are simple, selfish beings..." I think it's slightly bitter but it's honest in most cases, comforting, freeing.

P.S. Are you ever going to be able to ship any of your albums overseas? It would nice to get a hold of them all the way over here in the Philippines. Mabuhay.

11:28 PM  
Blogger J. Gates said...

Great songs...i like them very much.





-------------------------------

J.Gates
http://aglocomoneymaking.blogspot.com

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like to think home is where you feel welcome and secure. When you have overcome fear of the unknown, when you have accepted that you are indestructible and you have learned to feel that there is no place on planet earth you cannot make your home or feel at home unless you let external factors decide for you. Accept the fact that you are the boss: your feelings control your brain which controls your life.

7:32 PM  
Anonymous XEOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.com said...

"Homesick, because I no longer know where home is."

That's a hard words, but you gotta find your own home, regardless of where you was born ;O)

3:02 AM  
Blogger Atheos said...

The inward struggles we face each day are monsters, demons, that we all create. We are the most afraid of the creaters that we create because they know us the most. They know what our deepest, darkest fears are and how to exploit them the most. The simply amazing thing is that we let them have their way in our lives.
Sure, we all have a yearning to know and understand not only ourselves deeply, but to know our impact on the lives of those around us. We lament over the mediums that we choose to leave our mark on the world. For, without leaving our mark. Without planting our seed. We have no evidence of our existence. And if there is no evidence that we existed, we have to ask ourselves if we mattered at all.
The sad truth, the VERITAS- the truth at it's deepest and most intense level, is that what we are searching for can never be found looking within. We must look outward and seek to make a difference in the lives of those who we are able to touch while we are on this path. Faith, hope and charity are the only true means to make a difference in the world. They are the only true means of leaving your mark and proving your existence. Who do you think time will remember the most; a singer poet or a great humanitarian?
It has been said that the eyes are the mouth to our souls. It is where the expression; 'Feed your eyes on this' comes from. If this is true, and I believe it is, than how you feed your soul both creates the beauty we see in people and also the monsters we see. Those who choose to run and hide. Those who commit suiside are looking dimly in the mirrors of their lives and seeing the monsters reflection. Where else can they go to hide? What else can they do?
I enjoyed reading your latest post. I truly hope you find the answers that are available to bring good food to your soul. In this way perhaps you will find the tools to help the Judee Sills you come across.

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone once said that when we feel like you are feeling, asking the big questions and feeling as if we are alone in the universe, even fearing that aloneness and the answers, it is God crooking His finger at us and saying, "Come here."
I hope you will not be distracted by Mexico or any other place, even if you do go, but will keep on looking for the only thing that can fill the big void in your life.
Been there, done that!

8:38 AM  
Blogger Dome & Edo said...

very nice blog

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Jesus loves you said...

wow your a really deep person

www.energyturtle.com

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Ramesh...don't ask me how I came across your blog, but I did! Being the inquisitive type, I tried to check your band out...managed to get a LITTLE bit of info from your site, checked out your record co. sites, agents sites, PR people etc...not a lot of info out there to be honest, which left me a bit frustrated! Let me explain why...

I'm from Dublin, I've worked as a music journalist (TV and radio) and ran my own music PR company for the last 12 years...built up many acts, worked on all the major festivals, blah blah blah....I've done enough and seen enough, believe me!

I've heard so many promising young artists. If the complete package is attractive enough, then it's a good start, but the most important thing after that is to get the right infrastructure in place. This is where most bands fail and I just really hope that Voxtrot is not another one of them.

I checked out a few songs via your site and youtube and I must say, I was pleasantly suprised. I'm not going to make any artist comparasions, because you will get enough of that in the media when the album is released, (plus I know that artists HATE comparasions being made at all!! :) Anyhow, the main reson for the little note is to say, I genuinely hope that your album manages to cross the pond (the Atlantic that is!) and that I will hear about Voxtrot again. Pity I missed the UK shows, I would have liked to check one out!

It really is a tough business and so many bands end up playing the same circuit year in year out and end up in a rut. I really really really hope that you have good management in place, because then everything else will fall into place. (I hope your manager is not a friend or family member as that's never good in the long run!!)

A bit of advice though....Please update your biog (who is in the band, names, ages, background info etc)on your website; most journos will not bother to take the time to do alot of looking around (like I did) and seeing as there is little info on your site, no info that I could find on beggers or your agents sites, it's not a good start. Make the site more media friendly if at all possible...it would make a big difference.

Secondly, for gods sake, get your UK agent to look into doing a high profile support tour in the UK and Ireland prior to your album release if at all possible...I know you will probably think that it would be like trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat with such short notice, but you'd be amazed what they can come up with. Please get management to see www.mcd.ie in Ireland for the major concerts/tours, (someone should contact them regarding their festivals this summer)and SJM www.gigsandtours.com for gigs in the UK.

If they're really not clued in agnets, then give them this list of possble venues...For Ireland, try to see if you can get supports in Whelans or Olympia or The Village in Dublin and also Roisin Dubh in Galway, Dolan's Warehouse in Limerick, The Savoy in Cork. For the UK, try Borderline London, King Tuts Glasgow, Night & Day Manchester, Glee Club Birmingham, Fiddlers in Bristol...a few to start off with anyway. Try to get a bit of the UK college circuit done as headline gigs between shows if at all possible. The venues I've listed are good sized venues that have decent acts performing. Once you've done that, you could come back do a few festivals and then in the Autumn, do a headline tour in support of your next single. That's called a plan!! :)

Also, see if your publisher might have any contacts that you could ride along with and get a good radio plugger working on the led single at least 4 weeks prior to the album release.I don't think it would take alot of effort on your publicists part to create a buzz in the UK and Ireland market, just as long as the right people are in place and once that is done, the rest of Europe tends to follow (a few months later!!:) (Keep in mind that May and September are the busiest times in the release schedule here though). On a final touring point, please make sure that your manager checks out the logistics of any proposed tour beforehand and make sure that you get at least 2 in five days free...otherwise you'll burn out quickly!

I don't know why I've written all this, but I guess I'm hoping that it can make a little bit of a difference to a band that could do ok for themselves. Knowledge is everything, and they don't call the music business a business for nothing. The more you know the more of a chance you'll have to succeed and less of a chance to be ripped off!

I know most artists would love to sit back and write songs on a beach somewhere in mexico, release the album and never have to tour (because believe me, you can become allergic to touring!! :), and live off royalties and album sales for something you released in 1972...unfortunately life is not like that (unless you're Enya), so best of luck with it all!!!!

On a final note...I know that this email has been a bit heavy, so on a lighter note, I hope everything goes well and I hope that in 5 years you're still having as much fun as you are now...not that you've done a Strokes on it; released 2 albums, the first of which was critically acclaimed, gave them an ego and a drug habit and then bombed out!! :) Incidently, they were also signed at SXSW (by a publisher friend of mine)....keep on trying with SXSW!! You never know what might happen!! :)

Nice one!! Happy Days!

Good night and good luck!!

Niamh

P.S.....any typo's are due to the fact that I type faster than I should!! And, to those non 'muso's' out there, I'm sorry about the boring content!! It can get a bit anal at times!! :)

1:02 PM  
Blogger Daniel Varela said...

Hey think on this text, in your human body, exists God, so your song take part of him for everybody, because you exists

Go ahead
Thanks
Daniel Varela
http://danielvarela.blogspot.com

7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A tragedy is still a tragedy no matter how small it is; it might not mean much to anyone except the people it happens to and the people who choose to care, but it's still important.

I think wandering isn't always the same as escapism, wandering can stir up entirely new possibilities. As for the entire fourth paragraph, people in the psychiatric ward and maybe Judee Sill would disagree with you... You may be powerless over what happens afterward, but you still get choices (to create an artifical world you can't live in, to continue life in pain). As for fate, I kinda liked the idea that you don't know what your own fate is, so you must live like everything will work out the way you want it to because maybe then it will; because it was fated that you did it that way and it worked.

If you're worried about the success or failure of your album as a reflection of yourself, personally I (in my completely unqualified opinion, which is in reality worth a grand total of $14.95+tax) think you have potential, yours' is the first band I've really bothered to keep up with to the point of remembering to check your blog every now and then, so I that someday I can say, "Yeah, I liked them before they wrote their first album."

10:32 PM  
Blogger Gickie Goof said...

Just happened on your blog and enjoyed your writing. Hope to visit you again.

5:48 AM  
Blogger meetmizzy said...

i only hav 1 kings of convenience song but i love it
iv got 'i'd rather dance with you'
luv
eddie
xoxoxoxox
ps
plz add me ne1
mizzybutton@hotmail.com

8:11 AM  
Blogger Tommy said...

Remy,

you should spend some time with these unreleased mp3s if you haven't already:

http://www.webnoir.com/bob/music/

Judee's banter is amazing. ~"Please buy my album, folks. I haven't become really big yet so I have to open for stupid rock bands. Please buy my album so that I don't have to do that anymore."

-Tommy

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi....very page...I'm of Chile

bye

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really loved this blog. It was haunting and has a very narrative quality.

Thanks for posting it.

-N

5:51 PM  
Blogger An effigy of Krishna I burned to keep warm said...

Humour is the wit of kings,
wit is the humour of kings.

7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

   May I take your order?
   I’d recommend shit.
   We get very fresh shit today.
  \____ _________/
         ∨ 
            / ̄ ̄ ̄ヽ .    λ ~
            /⌒⌒""☆    ( ヽ ~
           //ノノノ"\ヽ    (   ) ~
           |(| ∩  ∩|)|  (___) ~
           从.、 ▽ ノjl|  /\⌒彡
           /  \ | ||  .|\/ ̄
           へ _ V ノ  /     
          /   ̄ 只 |
         /   )   || |
         /  ノ \_〓ノ\
        /\/ /  | \\)
        \/  /   |  \/
      彡 /  \ ___|___ /
            |   | . |
             |  .|  |

10:10 PM  
Blogger Delon said...

Great stuff - nice writings and listenings...

1:31 AM  
Blogger sasawrites said...

I liked the way you write.
Thanks.

7:50 AM  
Blogger K M RANI said...

What you have said about Life is so true. We think we are doers and we think we'll live forever...... which is untrue as long as we have failed to realize our true nature, as sparks of divinity. And here's where I think many of us have failed. The seers and great souls who have realized themselves have in fact attained that level of consciousness where they have the power to materialize their thoughts and also find immortality. Man today has become so absorbed in his little self, his ego is consuming him. Greed, selfishness, apathy & indifference abound.... and the saddest thing is, very few are even aware of this...God help us all.

8:23 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home